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How to get rich, even if you are lazy

Laziness is bad. Like all good capitalists, I believe that everyone must serve society. In theory, it might be said that everyone “should” serve society in whatever manner pays best, because, also in theory, society pays best for whatever benefits it most. Remember that point, because now I must digress somewhat.

Hypothetical situation. A fat man decides to lose weight. He buys a book on weight loss, and what does it say? Is he to eat low carb? Low fat? Vegan? Is he to jog? Lift weights? Take Karate? The point is, he is inevitably told, in one way or another, that he needs to eat less and exercise — which he already knows. Let’s assume the realization that he’s been scammed one more time gives him a fire in the belly, unleashing a furious resolve. Now he has the strength to do what needs to be done, and he loses weight, becoming the fit man he’s always wanted be. It’s a happy ending, and it cost us nothing.

Except, what if there was no fire in his belly? What if he only bought the weight loss book because he knew he lacked the willpower to eat less and exercise? Well, we know the answer, don’t we? He doesn’t find a loophole because there is no loophole; he doesn’t find a short cut because there are no short cuts. He just wastes time and money on a book, then stays fat until the day he dies his death of despair. Do we care? I mean, really? Of course, it is sad that a lazy fat man died, but isn’t it also fair? Shouldn’t life and its rewards fall to those who work hard?

Don’t answer! We’re about to change gears.

Julian Close

Julian Close became a stockbroker in 1995. In his 20 years of market experience, he has seen all market conditions and written about every aspect of investing. Julian has also written extensively on corporate best practices and even written reports for the United Nations. He graduated from Davidson College in 1993 and received a Master of Arts in Teaching from Mary Baldwin College in 2011. You can see closing trades for all Julian's long and short positions and track his long term performance via twitter: @JulianClose_MIC.